Tuesday, September 19th, I celebrated another year of life, and I am so grateful. I didn't feel like doing anything. In fact, nothing was exactly what I wanted to do. Over the last few weeks, I haven't quite been feeling myself, and I just wanted time alone with my thoughts. I'm in a season of my life that I have labeled as transition. I walked away from my job, my oldest son graduated from college and is over 19 hours away, and my days are not structured as I have been used to for the last 18 years of my life. On top of all of that, I have also been experiencing some pruning in my life. Some dead and overgrown ends had to be cut back for new life to grow. Pruning is not pleasant but it is necessary. The funny thing is I found myself experiencing extreme highs, and before I could even completely bask in those moments, some extreme lows set in. And I'll be honest, when those lows hit, I somehow forgot about the highs I had just experienced. The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy.
I recently read the book, The Power of T.E.D., and it spoke very plainly about the victim orientation that so many of us walk around with. We believe and live from the position that everything is happening to us and there is always someone or something else to blame. It is a position of blame and helplessness. But in case you didn't know, the opposite of victim is creator. And the truth of the matter is that whatever we are experiencing, we are co-creators of that experience. It replaces blame with responsibility and accountability and helplessness, with hopefulness. I realize that this period of transition in my life didn't just happen to me. I helped to create it, and it is not bad. It is just different than what I've been used to. This period of my life is filled with rich opportunities and possibilities. I had to get over my limited idea of what I thought it would look like, for eyes have not seen and ears have not heard.
I chose to walk away from my job, no one made me do that, and God elevated my career. He has enlarged my territory in ways that I had not even imagined. I gave the reigns to Him and decided that I'm not going to worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow, if I ever see it, has enough problems of its own. The truth of the matter is, all we really have is this moment. And He has been faithful in keeping me in the moment. As a mother, I have reared my children in a way that would hopefully afford them the opportunity to grow up, get an education, and be productive and successful men. Well, a chapter closed and another one started as my oldest son has gone off to college. That's what I raised him to do. No one did that to me. I walked away from my job because my health was deteriorating, there was too much pressure and stress, and I needed my life back. I needed more flexibility to be able to spend time with my children. And guess what? That is exactly what God has given me. If I trace the lineage of what I am experiencing now, it is answered prayers. The only constant in life is change, and I welcome this transition and change.
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